


Later, Though

by BelinhaZpears



Category: This Is Us (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Multi, POV Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24733990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelinhaZpears/pseuds/BelinhaZpears
Summary: You’ve always been the kind of girl who leaves it for later.
Relationships: Kate Pearson & Madison Simons, Kevin Pearson/Madison Simons
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Later, Though

**Author's Note:**

> I sincerely hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

You’ve always been the kind of girl who leaves it for later.

It wasn’t a real problem, until it became one.

They were family, until they turned into strangers.

Every man was prince charming, until they left.

You’ve always tended to play it hopeful and happy, because confrontation makes you cry and detachment makes you sad and these are _not_ feelings you like to waste time on. So you put on your rose-tinted glasses and believe until the very end. Mental illnesses can be surpassed. Blood will always be thicker than water. Every shoe comes with a pair. Everything will be okay.

Until it’s not.

That’s for later, though.

You should have stopped trusting people a long time ago, but the clinic crew and the support group make you still believe there’s always some room left for hope. True, Dr. Millier keeps on remembering ( _insisting…_ ) that these disorders won’t ever leave you alone and you’re aware you’re not the most popular member of the Overeaters Anonymous you attend, but a girl can dream, right?

That’s why you keep ignoring the condescending smile on your therapist’s face and your peers’ eye-roll as you seat on your chair to talk your heart out. No one’s better than a screw-up to understand a fellow screw-up and you’re sure it’s just a matter of time before someone, some _where_ , makes the click. You’ve had enough of people leaving when you needed them the most, “too needy” and “difficult to understand” echoing as major excuses, so being trapped with the ones who are forced to help you, whether they like it or not, can only be a good thing.

Or not.

But that’s a problem for later.

And later there was Kate.

Funny how, looking back, you were meant to hate her. Deep inside, you wanted to. Girl was fierce and confident in her own skin; certainly wouldn’t drown the guilt of saying those mean things on a box of ice-cream or cry herself to sleep because she had hurt your feelings. And then there was the boyfriend, later fiancé, staring adorably at her in every meeting, as if his whole world revolved around her. She was the first to stand up and talk back, the first to let you know how they _really_ felt about you, another reminder that you’d never belong, and you _wish_ you had hated her then, so you could hurt her just as much.

But the day you gained the courage to cross the line, was also the day you saw how vulnerable she could be. She was trembling and tearing up, looking so scared your heart clenched, and when she told you about the baby… Oh, you _wish_ you could tell her how happy you were for her!

Kate turned out to be your opportunity to slow down and divert to thoughts that didn’t focus on yourself, your fears and the image reflected in your mirror. The more you cared about her and the ones she loved the most, the less empty your own little world felt. Sure, those where still _her_ acquaintances, _her_ friends, _her_ family… but with time they started feeling somewhat _yours_ too, even if there were still many miles to walk so they could find their way to you. Together and through the years, they taught you on relationships and commitment, on dreams and the hope of believing in them, on strength and the chance to rebirth, even when all that’s left are ashes.

Not that it would make much of a difference in the end, as your future seemed as bleak as before.

But you’d be sorry about it later.

And later Kevin knocked on your door.

Well, not _your_ door - _hers_. It wouldn’t make any sense, to have him walking anywhere after you. And it’s exactly what you _not_ need right now, another delusional man searching for the happy ending he’s not ready to fight for. But he seems lost and heartbroken, and it’s not like you know how to turn your back at it anyway. You’re used at being in the wrong place at the wrong time, you can deal with this too.

Except this time it doesn’t play like it usually does. This time, he actually gets you. And before you get to be there for him, he manages to be there for you - to tell you what you want to hear, to see you for who you really are. And you’re aware, you’re _very_ aware, of who Kevin is: the actor, the movie star, your best friend’s pretentious twin brother, flirting in private and running away in public, making you feel humiliated on what could have been one of the happiest days of your life.

You know you won’t ever be his answer.

Just like you know he won’t ever be yours.

But here he is, back at _your_ door now, even after you told him it was time to call it a day. And he’s still heartbroken, probably just looking for a little bit of sympathy. Unfortunately, so are you. And you know this is not a line to be crossed (Kate would be _so_ disappointed if she knew…), but his staring feels so warm, so strong, so _deep_ , it makes you want to forget about whoever you are and whatever you’re risking for a one-night thing.

So you slightly press the stop button, and every single issue disappears, and you keep your guard down as you let him pull you in for a kiss.

Oh, you’ll end up regretting this, you’re sure.

That’s for later, though.

**Author's Note:**

> We, Kevison shippers, might be circa fifteen now and we’re thriving. Here’s to you, for being around for the past couple of months, and to a fifth season as exciting as expected. :)


End file.
